The last night at Visao Futuro, Susan's education center where I took her biopsychology course, we had Carnival! A small one without any pagentry, but it was great, and with everything else in the course, exquisitely created. We gathered in the dining pavillion, a 12-sided structure with glass walls looking out over lush tropical vegetation. Various groups prepared funky entertainment - skits about the experiences of the week, or regional songs and dances - and then a couple of the excellent musicians who are integral to the teaching program played non stop traditional carnival music for an hour and a half solid. The whole dance floor was alive with people singing and dancing and doing conga lines. I didn't know the music, the words or the steps, but it didn't seem to matter. Everyone was so happy and it was great, after an intense week of emotions and learning, to just let loose.
the last morning was a good gateway into returning to the 'real world.' as is the case most of the time here, i was clueless about what was happening and what was being said. I thought, when the class started, I would have plenty of time to pack and do a few essentials before leaving at 4, but the final exercises kept turning out to the the semi final exercises and i found myself blindfolded (to increased interiority) in a sharing circle with everyone clasping sweating hands, crowded into a cheek by jowl circle and hearing "shares" that - since i understood very little - seemed to go on and on... and me, feeling my time for leavetaking activities slipping away, squirming. So after 10 stress free days, I was sufficiently stressed to remember what life outside might be like.
In the airport I had to call the woman from the guesthouse where i would stay in Florianopolis to be sure she was picking me up. Oy! My Portuguese is 1000% better, but totally insufficient for making a phone call to someone who doesn't speak English. Thankfully, my vulnerability was attractive enough to call in some help and all basic needs were handled. I met one young woman returning home from 2 months in alabama. seems there are agencies in brail - and elsewhere? - that arrange for young people to go to america to learn english. but they are actually agents for McDonalds and other low paying employers. This young woman worked in McDonalds and was housed in McDonald's dorms struggling with Southern English and burger flipping. Ever new ways for slavery to show up in our world.
Yesterday I spent time with my friend Jorge Mello's girlfriend, Marge, who kindly got me oriented. Jorge is at a zen buddhist meditation retreat - his preferred way to spend carnival - and will return tomorrow night. On thursday he has arranged a Conversation Cafe with friends - he was in my course in Schumacher College in England and learned the method there.
Yesterday I went to the beach - ahhh, miles of fine white sand to walk and a warm ocean to swim in and hundreds of exquisite young bodies in string bikinis - i defintely felt overdressed in my one piece bathing suit and may screw up my courage and buy a cheap bikini to parade around in and claim my body.
Last night, a fellow I met at the Parque invited me to a Carnival party here - a costume party. The only costume I had was as an aging writer and public speaker from the US... BUT, for some reason, i had thrown a crocodile hand puppet in my suitcase at the last minute so i wore it and used it to talk to people i met. Also, my friend Alvaro had bought himself a gold tinsel cleopatra wig which he stopped enjoying wearing, so i put it on and felt more like i fit in. I was a bit nervous going - not knowing anyone, the language or what would happen - but managing to switch on my basic sense of joy and danced for 3 hours solid with people in all sorts of get ups. So, my friends, I have certainly had enough experience of Carnival - without pagentry - to know I am in Brazil.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Brazil - 25 February, 2006
Probably my last post before leaving.
After the fire ceremony, people were extremely moved, and the group sessions became deeper, with many tears and lots of hugging. This is quite an intensive "new age" workshop, and even tho some seems old hat to me, the information about the chakras is brand new - and of course the people are new and each a jewel. For many it is their first exposure to opening the heart, and for sure any opening of the heart - even for a seasoned inner traveler - is always a profound experience. the group chanting and meditation also sends me very deep.
I have taken more alone time these last days, needing to let impressions settle and my poor overheated portuguese confused brain cool off. I am shedding a bit the eyes of a newborn in Brazil and beginning to toddle. The staff at the Parque - including Didi - is becoming more three dimensional to me, with whiffs of loves and longings among the staff, of human ups and downs even in paradise. Watching Didi work - teach, go about running this big spiritual center with a staff of 40 and non-stop guests - is being instructive not only about chakras, but about my own reinhabiting passion for outer work. I am holding as a paradox my attraction - borne of two intense years of solitude and healing - to a more quiet life AND my natural extraverted and giving side that just overflows with ideas for opening minds to new ideas and designing ways for people to be humane with one another. A fear surfaces in that holding... a fear of loss of self, of getting swept up all too soon in yet one more big project that lifts me out of my skin, inflates me like a balloon, and sends me sailing over the simple pleasures of daily life. Didi is so fully surrendered to mission - and is a nun - so every ounce of energy goes into designing and facilitating programs here. She does it magnificently and I have watched a group of strangers open their minds, hearts and arms to one another - and to themselves. She is working magic. I am not her by any means, but I know within me is that capacity to inspire, to crack open dull paradigms and let the sweet juices of life flow again. This seems to come naturally and seems to want to come out of me again. In holding this paradox of the private and public selves, seemingly vying for the scarce resources of my time and attention, I realized that I have actually changed so why won~'t my outer work change? In the old days, simmering under everything I did was the urgency of the times we are living in, feeling the necessity for a profound metanoia globally as we head into the blowback of our 30 years of overshoot. Now, I believe i will do my work in love, not fear. it is the love that makes all the difference at home and on the road. I'll probably pick at this theme more as this month goes on since it is my first big tour since the old days. 9 cities in 12 days!
Susan and I spent some time planning our talk. She is a consummately prepared presenter so we are together carefully crafting a two hour shared stage evening that will really wow people. She has so much fire for every word being an arrow right into the soul and we complement one another in style, in focus, in language, in topics. And we are planning together so smoothly, changing one another's good ideas, tossing the ones we don't like without any stress. I think we will have a wonderful time. I learned yesterday that this is the first shared tour she has done... so i feel honored and deeply trusting of the spiritual forces that cooked up she and i meeting and 7 years later taking on this tour. And what are you up to Grandmother spirits... we shall see.
Tomorrow I head for Florianopolis (called Floripa by the locals) and 4 days on the beach and doing fun things for carnival. i already have invitations to three parties and people happy to show me around, so I think I'm going to love it. My portuguese has improved by leaps and bounds, so I feel ready to leave this very nurturing, totally safe, infinitely caring hothouse and get my feel planted on the ground in the Brazil beyond the Parque Ecologico.
After the fire ceremony, people were extremely moved, and the group sessions became deeper, with many tears and lots of hugging. This is quite an intensive "new age" workshop, and even tho some seems old hat to me, the information about the chakras is brand new - and of course the people are new and each a jewel. For many it is their first exposure to opening the heart, and for sure any opening of the heart - even for a seasoned inner traveler - is always a profound experience. the group chanting and meditation also sends me very deep.
I have taken more alone time these last days, needing to let impressions settle and my poor overheated portuguese confused brain cool off. I am shedding a bit the eyes of a newborn in Brazil and beginning to toddle. The staff at the Parque - including Didi - is becoming more three dimensional to me, with whiffs of loves and longings among the staff, of human ups and downs even in paradise. Watching Didi work - teach, go about running this big spiritual center with a staff of 40 and non-stop guests - is being instructive not only about chakras, but about my own reinhabiting passion for outer work. I am holding as a paradox my attraction - borne of two intense years of solitude and healing - to a more quiet life AND my natural extraverted and giving side that just overflows with ideas for opening minds to new ideas and designing ways for people to be humane with one another. A fear surfaces in that holding... a fear of loss of self, of getting swept up all too soon in yet one more big project that lifts me out of my skin, inflates me like a balloon, and sends me sailing over the simple pleasures of daily life. Didi is so fully surrendered to mission - and is a nun - so every ounce of energy goes into designing and facilitating programs here. She does it magnificently and I have watched a group of strangers open their minds, hearts and arms to one another - and to themselves. She is working magic. I am not her by any means, but I know within me is that capacity to inspire, to crack open dull paradigms and let the sweet juices of life flow again. This seems to come naturally and seems to want to come out of me again. In holding this paradox of the private and public selves, seemingly vying for the scarce resources of my time and attention, I realized that I have actually changed so why won~'t my outer work change? In the old days, simmering under everything I did was the urgency of the times we are living in, feeling the necessity for a profound metanoia globally as we head into the blowback of our 30 years of overshoot. Now, I believe i will do my work in love, not fear. it is the love that makes all the difference at home and on the road. I'll probably pick at this theme more as this month goes on since it is my first big tour since the old days. 9 cities in 12 days!
Susan and I spent some time planning our talk. She is a consummately prepared presenter so we are together carefully crafting a two hour shared stage evening that will really wow people. She has so much fire for every word being an arrow right into the soul and we complement one another in style, in focus, in language, in topics. And we are planning together so smoothly, changing one another's good ideas, tossing the ones we don't like without any stress. I think we will have a wonderful time. I learned yesterday that this is the first shared tour she has done... so i feel honored and deeply trusting of the spiritual forces that cooked up she and i meeting and 7 years later taking on this tour. And what are you up to Grandmother spirits... we shall see.
Tomorrow I head for Florianopolis (called Floripa by the locals) and 4 days on the beach and doing fun things for carnival. i already have invitations to three parties and people happy to show me around, so I think I'm going to love it. My portuguese has improved by leaps and bounds, so I feel ready to leave this very nurturing, totally safe, infinitely caring hothouse and get my feel planted on the ground in the Brazil beyond the Parque Ecologico.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Brazil - 24 February, 2006
The fire ceremony last night was beyond magnificent, a group, solemn, fierce pagent that gave so many of us the sense we had really burned off karma and opened the space for transformation.
In the afternoon, we had all make 3 dimensional representations of our fear, hatred, anger and aggression, our endless hunger, our timidity, our anxiety and the rest of the third chakra egoic expressions. At the appointed time after dark, the staff - actors, facilitators, didi - turned off all the lights in the compound as we all stood in silence in a circle with our "voodoo dolls" so to speak in our hands. The darkness and silence deepend as we waited. And then the drums came, and figures dressed in white appeared with torches. Didi and one of the main actresses called the circle and ceremonially, slowly, marked each of us with the hindi bindi mark, representing our determination to burn our karma in the fire. we then were led in two long snaking lines around the property and towards a huge fire laid in a field. As we walked, a young man in line to be a trapese artist in cirque du soleil breathed fire while others, dressed in steaming red and yellow outfits, shreiked and ran around us, carrying torches and another one ran pounding a gong. Clearly we were in for no light weight little 10 minute new age ceremony.
the fire was huge, reminding me of the fires we used to build for the lakota inipis - sweat lodges - that i attended faithfully for the year or so after Joe died. But perhaps twice the size. We had learned several chants and dances in the afternoon for the ceremony, so we did the first with our bodies semi lit by fire, circles around and then letting go and everyone dancing wildly, whooping and generally letting out that uninhibited testosterone spirit of the third chakra. We then, in three groups as we are nearly 100 people, did the ceremony to burn our "voodoo" objects. We first crouched down, hands firmly on the earth, crying out with all our gutteral force, fire, burn my anger, fire burn my fear, fire burn my aggression. Then, at the signal, we all rushed in and threw our paper objects in the fire. After all the groups had done this - and believe me every person there was holding the fiercest intention they could - we did a chant: fire, transformation, feel the force of my will, fire, transformation, feel the brilliance of my splendor, fire, transformation, feel the heat of my love. three times we chanted this, faces lit by the fire, and you could really feel that the dark forces of your ego had a place to be reborn - in will, in splendor, in love. My own voodoo object was a steaming volcano, with dark forces within. As I moved through this ceremony, I thought, "These have been with me for years, and will be here again and again, but as long as my intention to face and transform these forces rises up one more time than the forces themselves, I am on the path." In a Vipassana retreat we did "fierce determination" meditation for an hour a day, a time when we really focused without moving a muscle. This ceremony was fierce determination. At the end, which was not the end, we sat and suddenly a tableau was lit across the field, enacting the eternal dance of shiva and kali. Suddenly we were in the middle of a pagent with horrible demons dancing across the field, teaching us about battle of the demons within and how we must, in a way, eat every ounce of our own karma, transforming it all - every scrap - into devotion. This way of tantra, of "it-allness", asks us to encounter the dark and light of our own lives with a fierce and open heart.
Then the play was over, the musicians packed up, but many of us remained as the fire was still huge. suddenly, the totally clear sky clouded over and we were blessed, washed with rain. Many skittered off at that time, but some of us stayed, chanting the basic chant we use here on and on and on. I curled up by the fire, went to sleep for a while and woke as the very last people were leaving. I stayed, chanting, breathing, feeling the solitude and power of that moment and eventually went off to bed. It was 5 hours after the ceremony began.
In the afternoon, we had all make 3 dimensional representations of our fear, hatred, anger and aggression, our endless hunger, our timidity, our anxiety and the rest of the third chakra egoic expressions. At the appointed time after dark, the staff - actors, facilitators, didi - turned off all the lights in the compound as we all stood in silence in a circle with our "voodoo dolls" so to speak in our hands. The darkness and silence deepend as we waited. And then the drums came, and figures dressed in white appeared with torches. Didi and one of the main actresses called the circle and ceremonially, slowly, marked each of us with the hindi bindi mark, representing our determination to burn our karma in the fire. we then were led in two long snaking lines around the property and towards a huge fire laid in a field. As we walked, a young man in line to be a trapese artist in cirque du soleil breathed fire while others, dressed in steaming red and yellow outfits, shreiked and ran around us, carrying torches and another one ran pounding a gong. Clearly we were in for no light weight little 10 minute new age ceremony.
the fire was huge, reminding me of the fires we used to build for the lakota inipis - sweat lodges - that i attended faithfully for the year or so after Joe died. But perhaps twice the size. We had learned several chants and dances in the afternoon for the ceremony, so we did the first with our bodies semi lit by fire, circles around and then letting go and everyone dancing wildly, whooping and generally letting out that uninhibited testosterone spirit of the third chakra. We then, in three groups as we are nearly 100 people, did the ceremony to burn our "voodoo" objects. We first crouched down, hands firmly on the earth, crying out with all our gutteral force, fire, burn my anger, fire burn my fear, fire burn my aggression. Then, at the signal, we all rushed in and threw our paper objects in the fire. After all the groups had done this - and believe me every person there was holding the fiercest intention they could - we did a chant: fire, transformation, feel the force of my will, fire, transformation, feel the brilliance of my splendor, fire, transformation, feel the heat of my love. three times we chanted this, faces lit by the fire, and you could really feel that the dark forces of your ego had a place to be reborn - in will, in splendor, in love. My own voodoo object was a steaming volcano, with dark forces within. As I moved through this ceremony, I thought, "These have been with me for years, and will be here again and again, but as long as my intention to face and transform these forces rises up one more time than the forces themselves, I am on the path." In a Vipassana retreat we did "fierce determination" meditation for an hour a day, a time when we really focused without moving a muscle. This ceremony was fierce determination. At the end, which was not the end, we sat and suddenly a tableau was lit across the field, enacting the eternal dance of shiva and kali. Suddenly we were in the middle of a pagent with horrible demons dancing across the field, teaching us about battle of the demons within and how we must, in a way, eat every ounce of our own karma, transforming it all - every scrap - into devotion. This way of tantra, of "it-allness", asks us to encounter the dark and light of our own lives with a fierce and open heart.
Then the play was over, the musicians packed up, but many of us remained as the fire was still huge. suddenly, the totally clear sky clouded over and we were blessed, washed with rain. Many skittered off at that time, but some of us stayed, chanting the basic chant we use here on and on and on. I curled up by the fire, went to sleep for a while and woke as the very last people were leaving. I stayed, chanting, breathing, feeling the solitude and power of that moment and eventually went off to bed. It was 5 hours after the ceremony began.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Brazil - 23 February, 2006
Well, folks, I finally hit the wall today. I am now understanding about 60% of what Susan/Didi is saying and I AM learning my body parts through repetition in the yoga class, but for the rest, understanding is really hit or miss. And today I just got tired on not understanding unto getting up to do an exercise that was only for men... and spending hours watching skits that were incomprehensible but everyone else thought were hilarious. Those who speak English are being so generous in translating but sometimes it just doesn't work for them... or me. I think I am also accustomed to a lot - i mean a lot - of alone time, and the program this week (an introduction to the basic teachings of Sarkar explained by Didi with metaphors from modern chaos/complexity/cosmology understanding) is morning til night with 75 other people. The focus is the Chakras and we are covering 1-4 this week in great detail. I have never learned this system so even thought i am grousing at the moment I am deeply grateful for the education.
One highlight of the educational program here is an extensive use of stories and actors who vividly enact the stories being told. It is lots of drama and pagentry - as well as doing skits and theater games and dances of universal peace so the teaching really gets into the body. In a few minutes we are going to a major bonfire to burn our thrid chakra vrittis - our anger, hatred, fear, jealousy, aggression and such. As usual here, there will be actors, drummers, musicians and lots of opportunity for passion. I think I'll also burn my frustrations at not being able to understand and burning up my brain in the effort.
Another highlight is a new brother - Vincente - who travels the world as a diver, as an expedition leader, and more. He has the most abundant love I have almost ever experienced. Half italian, half indigenous indian, he has a tenderness for living things, myself included. Today there was a poisonous snake in a tree by the dining room. everyone was freaking, demanding the snake be killed (this from vegatarians who have meditated long and hard to attain inner peace). He said, "you are frightening the snake," and talked to it, picked it up, carried it gently a half a mile to the forest and let it go. It went right to sleep in his hands during the walk.
Another new friend is a young dude who is brazilian but grew up in arizona so we can hang out in english. and slang. it feels good to have a couple of people I can just be my personality with and not struggle.
My abdominal pain seems to be clearing, so that is very good.
okay, off to burn some karma,
vicki
One highlight of the educational program here is an extensive use of stories and actors who vividly enact the stories being told. It is lots of drama and pagentry - as well as doing skits and theater games and dances of universal peace so the teaching really gets into the body. In a few minutes we are going to a major bonfire to burn our thrid chakra vrittis - our anger, hatred, fear, jealousy, aggression and such. As usual here, there will be actors, drummers, musicians and lots of opportunity for passion. I think I'll also burn my frustrations at not being able to understand and burning up my brain in the effort.
Another highlight is a new brother - Vincente - who travels the world as a diver, as an expedition leader, and more. He has the most abundant love I have almost ever experienced. Half italian, half indigenous indian, he has a tenderness for living things, myself included. Today there was a poisonous snake in a tree by the dining room. everyone was freaking, demanding the snake be killed (this from vegatarians who have meditated long and hard to attain inner peace). He said, "you are frightening the snake," and talked to it, picked it up, carried it gently a half a mile to the forest and let it go. It went right to sleep in his hands during the walk.
Another new friend is a young dude who is brazilian but grew up in arizona so we can hang out in english. and slang. it feels good to have a couple of people I can just be my personality with and not struggle.
My abdominal pain seems to be clearing, so that is very good.
okay, off to burn some karma,
vicki
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Brazil - 22 February, 2006
For any of you reading this daily, I am happy to report that all my tests from yesterday came up negative for anything really wrong; the doc gave me pills for muscle spasms in the intestinal tract which I am taking faithfully. This morning I was in less pain and whether it is the pills or the faith, I feel confident that I will get better and once again forget that I was ever in pain.
Speaking of the doctor, yesterday's health crisis got me out of this paradise of a spiritual center finally and out into the real world. One of the shining lights who works here - a young acrobat named Jai - drove me to Tatui where I had a very thorough exam by a very nice doctor who laughed at my jokes and gave me a big hug - and two prescriptions - at the end. This is Brazil... where you doctor laughs and hugs! Tatui felt like a medium sized city (60,000) in any 2/3 world country. Small shops lining the street with metal garage doors that are lowered at night. Many squares. A few more 'developed' big stores that are far from WalMart but still not the old small shops of yore. The X-ray facility was about 30-40 years behind what we now have in hospitals in the US. My father was a radiologist so I have those details more firmly planted in my mind than other things from the past.
The countryside is pastoral, the sky huge and ever changing (it rains at least once a day here) and Jai and i had a great portuguese lesson naming things we saw. I read road signs aloud to him.
I had a rich conversation with a lawyer who has been attracted to this Ecovillage and to Didi; she is working on several projects at a tenth of her ordinary pay. Her specialty is forming blended ngo/for profit enterprises and franchising them so I nabbed her for a long, fun conversation about how to further develop the Conversation Cafes. Her view is that Brazil's vocation, gift to the world, is in the social joy and social glue here, so the Conversation Cafes might actually go over better than in the US. We ended up dreaming together about forming a partnership between a major bookstore chain and the CCs and developing a 4 year business plan, raising money and really making it go. Of course, we were only dreaming, only playing... but I wouldn't mind coming back here and playing more seriously with this idea.
For the rest, daily life in the Park is becoming more familiar, the routines, the food and especially the language. Every class I am in, every conversation, my capacity to understand portuguese takes another leap, and I am finding that I can respond in Spanish and get along. This morning, getting dressed and choosing what to wear, i found myself speaking to myself partly in Portuguese so I know I am making progress.
Speaking of the doctor, yesterday's health crisis got me out of this paradise of a spiritual center finally and out into the real world. One of the shining lights who works here - a young acrobat named Jai - drove me to Tatui where I had a very thorough exam by a very nice doctor who laughed at my jokes and gave me a big hug - and two prescriptions - at the end. This is Brazil... where you doctor laughs and hugs! Tatui felt like a medium sized city (60,000) in any 2/3 world country. Small shops lining the street with metal garage doors that are lowered at night. Many squares. A few more 'developed' big stores that are far from WalMart but still not the old small shops of yore. The X-ray facility was about 30-40 years behind what we now have in hospitals in the US. My father was a radiologist so I have those details more firmly planted in my mind than other things from the past.
The countryside is pastoral, the sky huge and ever changing (it rains at least once a day here) and Jai and i had a great portuguese lesson naming things we saw. I read road signs aloud to him.
I had a rich conversation with a lawyer who has been attracted to this Ecovillage and to Didi; she is working on several projects at a tenth of her ordinary pay. Her specialty is forming blended ngo/for profit enterprises and franchising them so I nabbed her for a long, fun conversation about how to further develop the Conversation Cafes. Her view is that Brazil's vocation, gift to the world, is in the social joy and social glue here, so the Conversation Cafes might actually go over better than in the US. We ended up dreaming together about forming a partnership between a major bookstore chain and the CCs and developing a 4 year business plan, raising money and really making it go. Of course, we were only dreaming, only playing... but I wouldn't mind coming back here and playing more seriously with this idea.
For the rest, daily life in the Park is becoming more familiar, the routines, the food and especially the language. Every class I am in, every conversation, my capacity to understand portuguese takes another leap, and I am finding that I can respond in Spanish and get along. This morning, getting dressed and choosing what to wear, i found myself speaking to myself partly in Portuguese so I know I am making progress.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Brazil - 20 February, 2006
As Kurt Vonnegut said in Cat's Cradle, "Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God." Today I'm dancing. But not like two nights ago in the all night kirtan. Not like yesterday in my first day of the Biopsychology course, learning about the Tantra system as taught by Prakar to Didi and Didi to me and a hundred others in this course. Not like my delight in getting to know my new roommate, the amazing Amalia Souza (a link - in portuguese - just to see her picture: http://www.amaliasouza.net/amalia.htm), deep ecologist, environmentalist, world traveler and recent host of Joanna Macy's tour). No, these peculiar travel suggestions are a more gut experience - as in a persistent and growing pain in my gut which by this morning i could no longer ignore. I am pretty certain it's a small unraveling of the repair done in September for a hernia that developed at the cancer surgery site. I am a bit bionic since they had to install a 6" square mesh in my abdomen to hold it all together, and I think that mesh isn't sitting right. But my normal strategy for physical pain - ignore it, the body is the great healer - has not working with this one and this morning it was strong enough that I had to let go of my floating bliss and get down to business. So people are mobilizing to get me some ultrasound and it is time to go. Besides this, I am having rich inner reflections on my favorite topic - freedom - and how it unfolds here. And I am learning a different way to teach from Didi. And portugeuse is flowing over me like a sweet river all day long, and more every hour enters my body and comes out my mouth. i was even able to explain my problems this morning to two brazilian docs who happen to be here for the course. It helps that I speak fluent Spanish and if I go slowly many people can understand perfectly. It's when they answer that it gets interesting.
Okay, one set of thoughts about freedom...
I am feeling very free here - a sort of happy, soft freedom that seems to come from being in such a loving, beautiful environment. For one thing, Brazilians are very physical - laughing, hugging, smiling, touching, speaking with bodies as well as mouths. The feel what they feel and express it. You who know me know I also carry a lot of expressive energy with me. It is, as with all personality traits, a blessings and a curse. The blessing is that I experience a lot of life, I get a lot done, I throw myself into work and play fully and with good results. The curse is that this energy can be a bit much for others. Some run for the hills when I show up, or just click their life energy purses shut with a firm snap, as if to say, "Don't you dare ask for an ounce more from me." I thought I was offering a hug, and they feel at risk of being strangled. One metaphor is that I am like a baby tiger who found herself in a litter of kittens. For a while we are all soft and adorable together, playing and being fondled. Then one day I play - just like yesterday, just like the other kittens - but this time my playmate screams in anguish and runs away bleeding. I often don't understand the impact of my play - how painful some of my gestures of affection can be. If you know the Enneagram, it is the blessing/curse of the 7 with a big 8 wing. Here I don't feel so vibrationally gigantic because everyone is a bit more out to play - I'm just one of the kitty pile.
Reflecting further on this, I realize that it is a combination here of love and trust. In the US, where we are just basically a lot less expressive and affectionate, we are also now, since 9/11 - more skittish. As a nation, we are making fear the dominant feeling tone and security the dominant need. Our gestures as citizens are less and less effective as the national government takes more and more "war powers" for the endless war on terror. As more national resources go into this endless war, and into the pockets of investors and corporations, less and less basic service is available for the general public. This increases the ambient frustration level; in environments of increasing scarcity, people become more competitive and sly. Even in my most gentle part of the nation, the Pacific Northwest, I think some of this national infection is spreading. We don't notice this as we live in it - but out here in Brazil, I can feel the lack of fear in the environment, and I feel it as freedom.
If you want to free another, cease to fear them. This gives them room to find their natural way. This lack of fear feels like the dance floor at the Deer Lagoon Grange where I do ecstatic dance every Wednesday, held by several phenomenol musicians. Not only am I free to move in that big space, but there is no judgement from others about how I move - and our dancing itself serves the drummers who hold us in melody and rhythm. It is that freedom of "One of these mornings, gonna wake up singing, gonna spread your wings, and take to the sky, until that mornin comes, nothin's gonna harm you..." Living in a harmless world - that is freeing. Here I feel this kind of free.
I talked with Amalia about the Brazilian dream, how it is different from the American dream. She said one of their national songs is a Samba! We laughed about what if Brazil, not America, set the tone for the world. What if the bottom line of any endeavor weren't the 'business bottom line" but "can you dance to it?" What if Brazilian freedom set the tone for the world, not the American freedom of I can have and do whatever I want - a sort of entitlement that our dominance allows us to feel as freedom because the consequences become invisible.
Ate logo, until later...
Okay, one set of thoughts about freedom...
I am feeling very free here - a sort of happy, soft freedom that seems to come from being in such a loving, beautiful environment. For one thing, Brazilians are very physical - laughing, hugging, smiling, touching, speaking with bodies as well as mouths. The feel what they feel and express it. You who know me know I also carry a lot of expressive energy with me. It is, as with all personality traits, a blessings and a curse. The blessing is that I experience a lot of life, I get a lot done, I throw myself into work and play fully and with good results. The curse is that this energy can be a bit much for others. Some run for the hills when I show up, or just click their life energy purses shut with a firm snap, as if to say, "Don't you dare ask for an ounce more from me." I thought I was offering a hug, and they feel at risk of being strangled. One metaphor is that I am like a baby tiger who found herself in a litter of kittens. For a while we are all soft and adorable together, playing and being fondled. Then one day I play - just like yesterday, just like the other kittens - but this time my playmate screams in anguish and runs away bleeding. I often don't understand the impact of my play - how painful some of my gestures of affection can be. If you know the Enneagram, it is the blessing/curse of the 7 with a big 8 wing. Here I don't feel so vibrationally gigantic because everyone is a bit more out to play - I'm just one of the kitty pile.
Reflecting further on this, I realize that it is a combination here of love and trust. In the US, where we are just basically a lot less expressive and affectionate, we are also now, since 9/11 - more skittish. As a nation, we are making fear the dominant feeling tone and security the dominant need. Our gestures as citizens are less and less effective as the national government takes more and more "war powers" for the endless war on terror. As more national resources go into this endless war, and into the pockets of investors and corporations, less and less basic service is available for the general public. This increases the ambient frustration level; in environments of increasing scarcity, people become more competitive and sly. Even in my most gentle part of the nation, the Pacific Northwest, I think some of this national infection is spreading. We don't notice this as we live in it - but out here in Brazil, I can feel the lack of fear in the environment, and I feel it as freedom.
If you want to free another, cease to fear them. This gives them room to find their natural way. This lack of fear feels like the dance floor at the Deer Lagoon Grange where I do ecstatic dance every Wednesday, held by several phenomenol musicians. Not only am I free to move in that big space, but there is no judgement from others about how I move - and our dancing itself serves the drummers who hold us in melody and rhythm. It is that freedom of "One of these mornings, gonna wake up singing, gonna spread your wings, and take to the sky, until that mornin comes, nothin's gonna harm you..." Living in a harmless world - that is freeing. Here I feel this kind of free.
I talked with Amalia about the Brazilian dream, how it is different from the American dream. She said one of their national songs is a Samba! We laughed about what if Brazil, not America, set the tone for the world. What if the bottom line of any endeavor weren't the 'business bottom line" but "can you dance to it?" What if Brazilian freedom set the tone for the world, not the American freedom of I can have and do whatever I want - a sort of entitlement that our dominance allows us to feel as freedom because the consequences become invisible.
Ate logo, until later...
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Brazil - 19 February 2006
Prior brazil posts below...
Last night was an all night kirtan, an ecstatic ceremonial way to get legally high.
We were silent all afternoon and made our way at dusk up to the main hall at the sound of a gong. As we dropped our shoes outside and entered, we were handed either a flower or a candle by two of the many exquisite, lithe brazilian young adults who live here as performance artists. A candle and a flower person would then pair and at the beginning of a haunting version of Om Namo Naraya we slowly circled the room. Spokes were taped on the floor leading into a central altar and around the circle pairs would procede into the center, bow and proceed out. The whole effect in the darkness and silence was like souls returning to the light and being reborn again and again. For reasons I cannot say, I was in tears much of the time.
Then we all gathered in a circle and people had a chance to speak about their spiritual journeys, most of it focused on Baba (here's the wikipedia summary of who he is: Prabhat Rainjan Sarkar (1921-1990) was an Indian philosopher, social revolutionary, poet and linguist. Above all this, however, he is usually remembered for his role as one of the foremost spiritual teachers of Tantra and Yoga of the twentieth century; the founding figure behind Ananda Marga, he is often known by his spiritual name, Shrii Shrii Anandamurti. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prabhat_Rainjan_Sarkar.)
At that time and for the rest of the evening, I was translating from devotion to the guru to my own mongrel devotion to love, truth and beauty - not too hard really. Then the music began and continued for about 10 hours with many musicians playing for hours at a time. There were congas, snare drums, symbols, shakers, guitars and voices singing various melodies for the basic ecstatic chant Baba Nam K'evalam which, as I said, I just translated to basic Beatles, "love is all there is." The options for participation were to walk around the central altar with hands in prayer or arms up in ecstatic reach OR to stand on the rim of the walkers OR to meditate OR to sleep around the edges until again inspired to arise and walk while singing. the walk itself was also specific, balancing from one foot to the other, tapping the opposite big toe beside the weight bearing foot. It looks like bouncing back and forth and some people did it very slowly while others bounded around the circle totally blissed out. It is a good example of freedom through limits, as the very narrowness of the doing liberated our spirits to soar.
For the first hour, as with the first while in any meditation, so much that ISN'T ecstatic in me arose to be held until I eventually - as I always do - found my way through the thicket to the simple truths of love. Once that layer burned off, I was right there with everyone, transported. It was like a ten hour generator of bliss. I chose to sleep there rather than bag it and go to a quiet, comfortable bed, wanting to absorb that amazing, unending drumming and chanting even while dozing. I'd wake from time to time, join the circling chanters, sometimes many, sometimes few, and then sleep again. Very heart opening and I found that having joined in this ceremony - a very sacred twice a year event here at the ecovillage park - deepened people's inclusion of me.
This afternoon, the people in the course I helped teach left and as with all workshops I had that bereft feeling of losing a new family. In the quiet space between courses - this week I'm attending their core curriculum on "biopsychology" - I was given a tour of this amazing ecovillage. When I first visited 5 years ago there were only 3 buildings - now there are dozens. It reflects part of Sarkar's social vision of "master units" - fully functional ecovillages around the world. His social philosophy called PROUT inspired me when i stumbled across it in the old YMOYL days; I felt such a resonance with it. You can read more at http://www.prout.org/Summary.html. The Master Unit is part of this, a vision of places that are self sufficient in food, water, clothes, housing, health and education. The ecovillage is well on its way to filling out that map. i saw their ponds that serve as water collection systems, their windmills and solar panels for pumping the water to gravity fed tanks, their biological treatment systems for gray water to return it to the environment, their organic food gardens, their medicinal gardens used to make homepathic remedies, their Montessori like schools, their center for the arts where actors and artists prepare for the powerful mini-dramas that are integral to Susan/Didi's teaching... and more. They are fully water self sufficient, 60% food self sufficient for the 40 people who now work here and the hundreds who come through every week for courses, have a workshop for local women to make clothes for their families and for sale, have housing for guests and staff alike (much of it built as hexagons as the six pointed star for Prakar is the symbol of union of heaven and earth and the tantra spirituality central to his teaching. I won~t bore you with more, but rather later put pictures on my flickr site so you can see for yourself.
My "rest" days when I am not with Didi teaching or in this biopsychology course are starting to fill. I have met some wonderful people from Florianopolis where I chose, somewhat arbitrarily, to wait out - and enjoy - carnival next week. And I now know even more people who might throw parties for me or host talks to tour me around in Saõ Paulo.
So, my friends, this trip so far is going from blessing to blessing, as tho the divine really wants me to get it that there is more brazil in my future.
Now, to bed, having danced all night, as they say. When I learn more about what 'biopsychology' is, i'll let you know.
Last night was an all night kirtan, an ecstatic ceremonial way to get legally high.
We were silent all afternoon and made our way at dusk up to the main hall at the sound of a gong. As we dropped our shoes outside and entered, we were handed either a flower or a candle by two of the many exquisite, lithe brazilian young adults who live here as performance artists. A candle and a flower person would then pair and at the beginning of a haunting version of Om Namo Naraya we slowly circled the room. Spokes were taped on the floor leading into a central altar and around the circle pairs would procede into the center, bow and proceed out. The whole effect in the darkness and silence was like souls returning to the light and being reborn again and again. For reasons I cannot say, I was in tears much of the time.
Then we all gathered in a circle and people had a chance to speak about their spiritual journeys, most of it focused on Baba (here's the wikipedia summary of who he is: Prabhat Rainjan Sarkar (1921-1990) was an Indian philosopher, social revolutionary, poet and linguist. Above all this, however, he is usually remembered for his role as one of the foremost spiritual teachers of Tantra and Yoga of the twentieth century; the founding figure behind Ananda Marga, he is often known by his spiritual name, Shrii Shrii Anandamurti. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prabhat_Rainjan_Sarkar.)
At that time and for the rest of the evening, I was translating from devotion to the guru to my own mongrel devotion to love, truth and beauty - not too hard really. Then the music began and continued for about 10 hours with many musicians playing for hours at a time. There were congas, snare drums, symbols, shakers, guitars and voices singing various melodies for the basic ecstatic chant Baba Nam K'evalam which, as I said, I just translated to basic Beatles, "love is all there is." The options for participation were to walk around the central altar with hands in prayer or arms up in ecstatic reach OR to stand on the rim of the walkers OR to meditate OR to sleep around the edges until again inspired to arise and walk while singing. the walk itself was also specific, balancing from one foot to the other, tapping the opposite big toe beside the weight bearing foot. It looks like bouncing back and forth and some people did it very slowly while others bounded around the circle totally blissed out. It is a good example of freedom through limits, as the very narrowness of the doing liberated our spirits to soar.
For the first hour, as with the first while in any meditation, so much that ISN'T ecstatic in me arose to be held until I eventually - as I always do - found my way through the thicket to the simple truths of love. Once that layer burned off, I was right there with everyone, transported. It was like a ten hour generator of bliss. I chose to sleep there rather than bag it and go to a quiet, comfortable bed, wanting to absorb that amazing, unending drumming and chanting even while dozing. I'd wake from time to time, join the circling chanters, sometimes many, sometimes few, and then sleep again. Very heart opening and I found that having joined in this ceremony - a very sacred twice a year event here at the ecovillage park - deepened people's inclusion of me.
This afternoon, the people in the course I helped teach left and as with all workshops I had that bereft feeling of losing a new family. In the quiet space between courses - this week I'm attending their core curriculum on "biopsychology" - I was given a tour of this amazing ecovillage. When I first visited 5 years ago there were only 3 buildings - now there are dozens. It reflects part of Sarkar's social vision of "master units" - fully functional ecovillages around the world. His social philosophy called PROUT inspired me when i stumbled across it in the old YMOYL days; I felt such a resonance with it. You can read more at http://www.prout.org/Summary.html. The Master Unit is part of this, a vision of places that are self sufficient in food, water, clothes, housing, health and education. The ecovillage is well on its way to filling out that map. i saw their ponds that serve as water collection systems, their windmills and solar panels for pumping the water to gravity fed tanks, their biological treatment systems for gray water to return it to the environment, their organic food gardens, their medicinal gardens used to make homepathic remedies, their Montessori like schools, their center for the arts where actors and artists prepare for the powerful mini-dramas that are integral to Susan/Didi's teaching... and more. They are fully water self sufficient, 60% food self sufficient for the 40 people who now work here and the hundreds who come through every week for courses, have a workshop for local women to make clothes for their families and for sale, have housing for guests and staff alike (much of it built as hexagons as the six pointed star for Prakar is the symbol of union of heaven and earth and the tantra spirituality central to his teaching. I won~t bore you with more, but rather later put pictures on my flickr site so you can see for yourself.
My "rest" days when I am not with Didi teaching or in this biopsychology course are starting to fill. I have met some wonderful people from Florianopolis where I chose, somewhat arbitrarily, to wait out - and enjoy - carnival next week. And I now know even more people who might throw parties for me or host talks to tour me around in Saõ Paulo.
So, my friends, this trip so far is going from blessing to blessing, as tho the divine really wants me to get it that there is more brazil in my future.
Now, to bed, having danced all night, as they say. When I learn more about what 'biopsychology' is, i'll let you know.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Brazil Journal
February 18, 2006 [note, i am posting most recent updates at the top. for feb 17, scroll down]
First a couple of recollections from the trip here. In the Seattle Airport I ran into an old friend, Virginia Hoyte - Jungian psychologist and long time concerned person for the earth. We chatted re the state of the world side by side at the sinks in the ladies room. Her latest amazing book is Lester Brown's [title?] 2.0 so, having plenty of time, i went off to the main terminal to find it at Barnes and Noble. No luck, but just as I was giving up a woman came up to the counter and asked for YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE by Joe Dominguez! She'd been reading the simple living website and wanted THAT book for her flight. We chatted and, tho they didn~t have our book [it's been years since i've found it in airports... I used to visit it in all the airports I went through, just to have a cozy friendly feeling], I felt this little coincidence boded well for this trip. I prepare, prepare prepare and then, once out the door I just let go and allow the true purpose of any travel to reveal itself. Then, in Dulles Airport, on my way to the plane to Saõ Paulo, I saw a big billboard advertising France as a good place to do business. It read: FRANCE. SLOW FOOD AND FAST CARS. There it was again, affirmation that the simplicity movement with all it' cousins - frugality, slow food, sustainable living, take back your time - is alive and not only well, but spreading.
even as i glory in this place and the people, I am trying to understand, put words on, this experience. Of course, these are 75-100 very special Brazilians - they have taken time and money to attend a spiritual retreat. Even so, I am learning about the spirit in this country that so speaks to me waaaay below words. For example, Didi, my friend and the spiritual leader of this ecovillage, teaches in the most unusual way. She gave a lecture this morning about the Great Turning, acknowledging Joanna Macy who was here a few months ago to teach for a week. It was done with a powerpoint presentation projected on a huge wall - very few words, mostly stunning pictures, and frightening pictures. four times in the two hours, giant puppets or very stylized actors arrived to do a highly dramatic enactment of the point Didi was making. Apparently Brazilians are not a text oriented culture, so such artistic and dramatic approaches to teaching go right in. She also is my sister in the importance of conversation; after every section of teaching she had people talk to one another, and then a few share with the group.
And here~s something else so enchantingly different. We do a lot of chanting and dancing, all full of laughter and errors and heart. It~s like we are kindergarteners playing, even as we do sacred rituals. But when people get up to speak you understand how deeply they are informed about the state of the world, how substantial they are in their professions, how educated, how aware. We have had some very serious, lengthy whole group discussions about the teetery dollar, about politics, about 911, about the dark and light of the current moment in brazil... and then we dance and chant and laugh and hug and run through the rain getting soaked but so what.
we shall see how much of these first impressions hold when i am traveling around the country.]
all the facilitators and Didi and I met last night to plan our presentations for the tour. They know her teachings well (they teach them) and had had two days of listening to me. There was a bit of everyone talking at once, of course in Portuguese with me using Spanish to get across and Didi to translate - somehow, amidst the hubub, the tour was planned. I came to understand the gift of this tour even more; each facilitator is doing publicity to attract enough people to cover the costs of Didi's and my travel. I am very excited about the ever clearer ways the teachings I've been developing with NRM and through my own initiation dovetail down to great detail the teachings of Prakar and Ananda Marga - of course, my practices aren't traditional yoga, chanting and meditation (i could use more of all of them) but the essences are so similar. In part because Prakar was both a realized teacher AND a social philosopher. ahem, it's the social philosophy i'm talking about in saying we are similar, not that 'realized being' thang.
I've also been taking long solo walks; the vegetation is much like California but lusher as the humidity is thick. nothing dries out, at least not while i've been here. we eat food from their organic gardens - lots of fruit and vegetables, which is agreeing with me.
One more image before signing off... last night i left the circle dancing when my eyelids gave out. the chanting and laughing was still coming from the large meeting hall as i drifted off. then i hear what sounds like a bunch of drunks with guitars singing outside my window. I don't understand any of the Portuguese but i do understand every time they say 'vicki' and bang on the wall. so i get up, stick my head out the window and there are a dozen smiling faces singing to me. i just laughed and blew kisses. and today many people asked me slying if i enjoyed the seranade. would we dare do anything like this in the US. even my cool friends and more inhibited than these 'free and easy' folks. as rick ingrasci says, the future belongs to whoever throws a better party. i think the future might belong to brazil, then... this is some combo of a better party, a serious symposium, a spiritual retreat and who knows what else. gotta go, as tonight we are chanting all night and even tho it seems unlikely, i might make it at least for an hour or two. we've been on silence all afternoon to prepare.
ciao from a corner of paradise,
vicki
February 17, 2006
Day 3 at the Ecovillage about 2 hours outside of Sao Paulo, a spiritual center affiliated with the worldwide Ananda Marga movement founded by Prakar, an Indian guru and visionary social teacher. I am already fantasizing spending the rest of my days here. Not this eco village per se but here in Brazil. Honest, there is something very different in the people - a sweetness, an ease in their bodies, a joy, an affection... all infectious. Of course it helps that i have taught here for two days solid, so all eyes, ears and hearts have been attentive to me. It helps me feel so very welcome.
I am the guest of Didi, meaning teacher. Her American name is Susan Andrews and after a traditional Harvard education she met Prakar, became a nun and has been in love with the divine ever since. After his death, she came to Brazil and was inspired to start a center here. From that has grown a vast network of teachers throughout the country. There are 60 regional facilitators here now, and later in the month Didi and I will travel to 9 of their cities to give lectures.
Dear God, how did I get so lucky to end up here. Of course, by chance... and design. Didi and I met on the ferry back to Seattle after a gathering with some mutual friends. In that half hour, we recognized one another as sisters on this crazy path of spiritual AND social transformation. Several years later, a dear friend gifted me with a trip to the jungles of Ecuador to visit the Achuar people and learn about the work of the Pachamama Alliance, seeking to help these people preserve their way of life in their as yet unspoiled part of the Amazon headwaters. Well, having made it to South America, I wasn~t about to turn around and go home! I discovered news of the first world social forum somewhere on the web and even though no one i knew knew anything about it, off i went. since i was in Brazil, i visited the eco-miracle of Curitiba and made a side trip to see Didi's place. The friendship deepened, we went off to the WSF together and have stayed in touch ever since. She KNEW and I suspected we had more to do together so she patiently waited until i was done with cancer, done with writing my new book on freedom and then brought me here. based on the response of her students to both the Conversation Cafes and to YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE, her intution was spot on. Many are going to fan out across Brazil to start CCs - and they are now clamoring for a Portuguese translation of YMOYL. Fortunately, there is a summary of YMOYL on the YMOYL website, and a tech guru here has a translation program so ~very soon we'll have that up on the website. They also translated my two powerpoint presentations and between my fluent spanish and a great translator i was able to stand there for 6 hours solid speaking.
Friends, it~s been 3 years of inner adventure thanks to the cancer and the big job of writing a wee book about freedom. I have actually relished every minute of solitude and inner search and have learned lessons that have profoundly changed my life. Even as my health returned I had little appetite for anything but intimate, local, personal connections - i want to relate to people and things i can feel and touch and hug and smile at and comfort and learn from. Gone was the will to 'change the world' - to act on large global systems. Yet now, here, in Brazil, after two days of teaching to about 75 very eager learners, I feel welling up within NOT gradiosity about world changing but rather a feeling of love overflowing and a sense i will again be speaking and writing from love, not urgency. I could have lived the rest of my life without this impulse returning, but now that it is here, it feels natural and right and embodied (not heady).
It~s time for dinner. I will write more in a day or so.
Ate logo
beisos
Vicki
First a couple of recollections from the trip here. In the Seattle Airport I ran into an old friend, Virginia Hoyte - Jungian psychologist and long time concerned person for the earth. We chatted re the state of the world side by side at the sinks in the ladies room. Her latest amazing book is Lester Brown's [title?] 2.0 so, having plenty of time, i went off to the main terminal to find it at Barnes and Noble. No luck, but just as I was giving up a woman came up to the counter and asked for YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE by Joe Dominguez! She'd been reading the simple living website and wanted THAT book for her flight. We chatted and, tho they didn~t have our book [it's been years since i've found it in airports... I used to visit it in all the airports I went through, just to have a cozy friendly feeling], I felt this little coincidence boded well for this trip. I prepare, prepare prepare and then, once out the door I just let go and allow the true purpose of any travel to reveal itself. Then, in Dulles Airport, on my way to the plane to Saõ Paulo, I saw a big billboard advertising France as a good place to do business. It read: FRANCE. SLOW FOOD AND FAST CARS. There it was again, affirmation that the simplicity movement with all it' cousins - frugality, slow food, sustainable living, take back your time - is alive and not only well, but spreading.
even as i glory in this place and the people, I am trying to understand, put words on, this experience. Of course, these are 75-100 very special Brazilians - they have taken time and money to attend a spiritual retreat. Even so, I am learning about the spirit in this country that so speaks to me waaaay below words. For example, Didi, my friend and the spiritual leader of this ecovillage, teaches in the most unusual way. She gave a lecture this morning about the Great Turning, acknowledging Joanna Macy who was here a few months ago to teach for a week. It was done with a powerpoint presentation projected on a huge wall - very few words, mostly stunning pictures, and frightening pictures. four times in the two hours, giant puppets or very stylized actors arrived to do a highly dramatic enactment of the point Didi was making. Apparently Brazilians are not a text oriented culture, so such artistic and dramatic approaches to teaching go right in. She also is my sister in the importance of conversation; after every section of teaching she had people talk to one another, and then a few share with the group.
And here~s something else so enchantingly different. We do a lot of chanting and dancing, all full of laughter and errors and heart. It~s like we are kindergarteners playing, even as we do sacred rituals. But when people get up to speak you understand how deeply they are informed about the state of the world, how substantial they are in their professions, how educated, how aware. We have had some very serious, lengthy whole group discussions about the teetery dollar, about politics, about 911, about the dark and light of the current moment in brazil... and then we dance and chant and laugh and hug and run through the rain getting soaked but so what.
we shall see how much of these first impressions hold when i am traveling around the country.]
all the facilitators and Didi and I met last night to plan our presentations for the tour. They know her teachings well (they teach them) and had had two days of listening to me. There was a bit of everyone talking at once, of course in Portuguese with me using Spanish to get across and Didi to translate - somehow, amidst the hubub, the tour was planned. I came to understand the gift of this tour even more; each facilitator is doing publicity to attract enough people to cover the costs of Didi's and my travel. I am very excited about the ever clearer ways the teachings I've been developing with NRM and through my own initiation dovetail down to great detail the teachings of Prakar and Ananda Marga - of course, my practices aren't traditional yoga, chanting and meditation (i could use more of all of them) but the essences are so similar. In part because Prakar was both a realized teacher AND a social philosopher. ahem, it's the social philosophy i'm talking about in saying we are similar, not that 'realized being' thang.
I've also been taking long solo walks; the vegetation is much like California but lusher as the humidity is thick. nothing dries out, at least not while i've been here. we eat food from their organic gardens - lots of fruit and vegetables, which is agreeing with me.
One more image before signing off... last night i left the circle dancing when my eyelids gave out. the chanting and laughing was still coming from the large meeting hall as i drifted off. then i hear what sounds like a bunch of drunks with guitars singing outside my window. I don't understand any of the Portuguese but i do understand every time they say 'vicki' and bang on the wall. so i get up, stick my head out the window and there are a dozen smiling faces singing to me. i just laughed and blew kisses. and today many people asked me slying if i enjoyed the seranade. would we dare do anything like this in the US. even my cool friends and more inhibited than these 'free and easy' folks. as rick ingrasci says, the future belongs to whoever throws a better party. i think the future might belong to brazil, then... this is some combo of a better party, a serious symposium, a spiritual retreat and who knows what else. gotta go, as tonight we are chanting all night and even tho it seems unlikely, i might make it at least for an hour or two. we've been on silence all afternoon to prepare.
ciao from a corner of paradise,
vicki
February 17, 2006
Day 3 at the Ecovillage about 2 hours outside of Sao Paulo, a spiritual center affiliated with the worldwide Ananda Marga movement founded by Prakar, an Indian guru and visionary social teacher. I am already fantasizing spending the rest of my days here. Not this eco village per se but here in Brazil. Honest, there is something very different in the people - a sweetness, an ease in their bodies, a joy, an affection... all infectious. Of course it helps that i have taught here for two days solid, so all eyes, ears and hearts have been attentive to me. It helps me feel so very welcome.
I am the guest of Didi, meaning teacher. Her American name is Susan Andrews and after a traditional Harvard education she met Prakar, became a nun and has been in love with the divine ever since. After his death, she came to Brazil and was inspired to start a center here. From that has grown a vast network of teachers throughout the country. There are 60 regional facilitators here now, and later in the month Didi and I will travel to 9 of their cities to give lectures.
Dear God, how did I get so lucky to end up here. Of course, by chance... and design. Didi and I met on the ferry back to Seattle after a gathering with some mutual friends. In that half hour, we recognized one another as sisters on this crazy path of spiritual AND social transformation. Several years later, a dear friend gifted me with a trip to the jungles of Ecuador to visit the Achuar people and learn about the work of the Pachamama Alliance, seeking to help these people preserve their way of life in their as yet unspoiled part of the Amazon headwaters. Well, having made it to South America, I wasn~t about to turn around and go home! I discovered news of the first world social forum somewhere on the web and even though no one i knew knew anything about it, off i went. since i was in Brazil, i visited the eco-miracle of Curitiba and made a side trip to see Didi's place. The friendship deepened, we went off to the WSF together and have stayed in touch ever since. She KNEW and I suspected we had more to do together so she patiently waited until i was done with cancer, done with writing my new book on freedom and then brought me here. based on the response of her students to both the Conversation Cafes and to YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE, her intution was spot on. Many are going to fan out across Brazil to start CCs - and they are now clamoring for a Portuguese translation of YMOYL. Fortunately, there is a summary of YMOYL on the YMOYL website, and a tech guru here has a translation program so ~very soon we'll have that up on the website. They also translated my two powerpoint presentations and between my fluent spanish and a great translator i was able to stand there for 6 hours solid speaking.
Friends, it~s been 3 years of inner adventure thanks to the cancer and the big job of writing a wee book about freedom. I have actually relished every minute of solitude and inner search and have learned lessons that have profoundly changed my life. Even as my health returned I had little appetite for anything but intimate, local, personal connections - i want to relate to people and things i can feel and touch and hug and smile at and comfort and learn from. Gone was the will to 'change the world' - to act on large global systems. Yet now, here, in Brazil, after two days of teaching to about 75 very eager learners, I feel welling up within NOT gradiosity about world changing but rather a feeling of love overflowing and a sense i will again be speaking and writing from love, not urgency. I could have lived the rest of my life without this impulse returning, but now that it is here, it feels natural and right and embodied (not heady).
It~s time for dinner. I will write more in a day or so.
Ate logo
beisos
Vicki
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